by Patty Armstrong
As a stay-at-home, let me tell you, I love it here! Before the pandemic, I was that mom who was up at 4:45 am making breakfast, cleaning, and getting everyone out the door—ex-husband included. It was exhausting.
Mothers and wives are an absolute treasure. When the pandemic began I dreaded the thought of homeschooling my children and having to work from home, it was like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. But, I had to adjust.
Once you’ve decided to make it an intention that you want to be a stay-at-home mom, do not change your mind, see it through. Children need structure and routine. A decision such as this will not only impact you but your child(ren) as well. First, ask yourself, why do I want to be a stay-at-home mom? What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do I have help? What is my support system looking like?
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During this transition you should mentally prepare yourself to wear many hats: you’re a full-time babysitter, an Uber driver, a nurse, a chef, a therapist, and a teacher. Take a look around and begin making a list of things you wish you could change to help make your life easier.
For me, it was cleaning up after my son during meal time. The Table Tyke comes in quite handy. It hugs the table and not only keeps messes off of the floor, but it helps to keep wandering mouths protected from the table germs and bumps. Plus, it’s sustainable and can be taken almost anywhere—restaurants, airplanes, or wherever. It’s a real lifesaver.
As a stay-at-home mom, you don’t have to deal with office stress and deadlines, in your home, you’re the boss and so you make the rules. During this time you get to witness your child’s milestones firsthand—no more mommy guilt.
To be a stay-at-home mom you have to have intention. You need to begin by doing your due diligence in deciding whether or not you’re going to remain at your current place of employment but reduce your hours, look for a WFH job/PT or quit working altogether. These are not easy decisions to make.
If you have a significant other, you should consult with them. Get their opinion and feedback to see what is best for your family and finances. If you’re someone who is looking to be a SAHM and would like to get pregnant again, Mira is something I would recommend for that. Mira allows women to track multiple hormones with 99% accuracy. It’s a cool, thoughtful gadget that I commend for moms who want to stay at home to preserve their energy to conceive again.
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In this type of atmosphere your child will grow up feeling happy, safe, and secure, plus their performance in school may improve. Creating happy children is one of the biggest successes you can experience. But, let’s not forget about ourselves! When you’re a SAHM as previously mentioned you are wearing many hats and taking on more or fewer responsibilities, and although the outcome is worth it, it can be draining in some aspects. During this time you can spruce up your self-care.
Once I decided to be a SAHM I was able to better prioritize my skin care routine, re-organize my closet and even try new recipes and wines during dinner. Some things I can recommend are Gorgeous Confidence’s 3-step skin care system for moms. It’s formulated with natural, high-quality ingredients that cleanse, rejuvenate, and provide age-reduction benefits. As a melanin woman, this product is my favorite thus far—I have trouble with dry skin during the winter months and this has helped (HydraLuxe Serum, $48.00).
Next, I invested in some pieces for my wardrobe. Recently divorced I noticed that one of the things that troubled my marriage was the lack of effort I took in my appearance. This is why I am choosing to share this information and stress it so heavily. When you’re a SAHM it’s so easy to feel tired and not want to do your makeup, hair, or even change out of your pajamas. But, you want to shake that unhealthy habit and keep yourself up.
I love this Army Jacket from A Perfect Shirt. The personal statement on the back, “I love the women I’ve become because I fought to become her” is so true that when wearing this jacket I feel empowered. I wear it on play dates and even on days when my friends and I go to their children’s practices. It’s a small but loud reminder that I am right where I want to be and it’s only up from here.
To be successful in this endeavor you want to wake up early and make time for yourself! Dress up, even if you have nowhere to go. Make sure you make time for exercise and deep cleaning your fridge. Another thing to stay on top of is your diet.
When you’re spending a good chunk of your time at home you’ll grow bored sometimes and want to snack on something your children are having or make a snack of your own. Be conscious of what you’re consuming. You want to live a long and healthy life. You’re making this sacrifice for the betterment of both you and the members of your household, don’t lose sight of that.
Make sure to set aside time for yourself outside of your children and spouse—if you’re married. Schedule outings with your friends or close family members. Even for your breaks, if your family insists on joining you, make it fun. During this time, each person can do something they personally enjoy. Encourage creativity in your children, research, and make art with them. You never know what you can inspire.
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Finally, if you feel like its all becoming too much, meet with other SAHM’s for support and guidance. Additionally, as I mentioned, I hang out with my other friends with kids very often and it’s a great time for all of our children to socialize. You’re free to start a group right here in our comments section. Select moms each month will receive our Mommy Box. It’s for those moms who lead, teach and support others.
Just know that you’re valuable, don’t be too hard on yourself, and do what you can. Be kind and give yourself grace.
*SAHM (Stay at home mom)
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